


He sits by the fire

by SleepyAridette



Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 04:02:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16824733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepyAridette/pseuds/SleepyAridette
Summary: A small drabble for the 3rd prompt of the #12dobfmas event by @softaslans, "fireplace"





	He sits by the fire

There he is, sitting by the fire, with a mug of hot chocolate steaming in his face. The blonde stands of his hair are gleaming fiercely against the flickering flames as though they are dying embers, the soft skin on his bright face is absorbing the color of the warmth, and the sweater I got him is resting snugly on his body. To say that Ash looked comfortable would be a harsh understatement; he is something that mere language will never be able to describe, something only the heart can interpret. He shifts atop of the pillow beneath him and brings his legs to his chest, all done with his cocoa.

I watch his eyes gaze into the flames just in front of him, and when I see how the orange dances on his glossy eyes, I can’t help but wonder if the one really being watched were those vibrant green pupils. Those same pupils I saw that day, cold and distant and hiding away a story tangled in black, thorny vines. The same day that he gave me his gun, the day where my old self perished forever. How did I get here?

Life always works in mysterious ways, but I find myself wanting to know, how does life choose who gets a surprising journey? How does it decide who lives normally, who lives happily, who lives in hardship, who lives in pain and terror? And how did it decide that I should be here? Sometimes, I think it might be the result of a prayer, a silent cry for help that lay trapped deep down in Ash’s being. But, certainly, I’m not the best candidate. Why me? What is it about me that compelled the universe to bring me to him, to Ash? I’m obviously willing to give him everything I have and more, but will it be enough?

As though he heard my thoughts, Ash turns to me and nods. I don’t know if I can believe him.

“I can’t remember the last time I spent a christmas this cozy before,” he says, voice slightly trembling with pain, “or this happy.” 

The sound of his voice sends an ache to my chest. No matter how long I support him, the past will be forever etched into bones, crawling back at every moment he feels truly happy, taking away the seconds of security he manages to feel. What should I do? What more can I do?

I press his shoulder with a lot more tension than I intend to, but I don’t loosen my grip. “Then from now on, let’s make every christmas—no, every day warm and cozy and happy,” I say a little too confidently, but it’s better than letting the storm inside show. “I promise I’ll make it happen.”

“Eiji…” Ash studies my face and I can already tell he sees right through me. He doesn’t say anything more though and turns back towards the fire. We watch for a while.

“I’ll take you up on that promise,” he finally says.

“Then I won’t let you down.”

  
I decide that I should continue to do what I always have been, no matter what happens.  _ Even if it’s not enough, I will always give you my best, Ash Lynx. _


End file.
